My Perriappa by Rani Sudarshan

Alfred Thangiah was my Perriappa....most dear & beloved....Elder to my dad Edward, I have fond memories of the two great brothers who shared a very special bond..
As a little girl, I recall visiting Madras & the delicious food prepared by Stella aunty...Mandavalli always wore a festive look with never ending stream of visitors & friends... Stella aunty was always there for the large Thangiah battalion...
Ranjan uncle as we fondly called him had a terrific sense of humour.The brothers always had a story to share much to the delight of everone...
I remember his visits to Bangalore with Ramani when my dad was sick... Though Rajan uncle was elder, he used to spend time pressing his brother Papini's legs the whole night...We were worried that uncle should not fall ill but he used to shoo us away & wanted to spend as much time as possible............My dad used to look at him with so much of solace & confidence that only hia presense mattered.
Uncles love for chocolates & sweets will always be remembered by Sanjana & Sudarshan..........By the time we reached his home we used to dart to the fridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We in the Thangiah family now know from where we inherited the love for sweets......
The strong Christian values taught by these great brothers to us their offsprings is what that is holding us together...WHAT GREAT PERSONALITIES.......I MISS MY DAD ALOT & now my Perriappa who was so much like him.... Miss you uncle but I know that you all are rejoicing in His kingdom.

on 08.07.08

My beloved uncle by Chandran

My beloved uncle,

Though the time we shared together was short they sure were precious
and I loved every minute of it. Whether it was reading the Tamil daily’s,
discussing politics, or watching MGR movies. I loved your sense
of humor; the “wink” & the subsequent “hearty” laugh. Always taking caring
of me with a coffee or a cool drink, catering my favorite dishes and sharing “vethali/pakku” after lunch/dinner. Memories embedded in my heart for ever.

Mala and I have fond memories of your trips to U.S. the time we got you an “ornamental” pavakai and you almost lost your tooth!... Kathy “beating” you to the Lazy boy chair….teaching her to “speak” …the trips to Atlantic City…. “rolling” you over in the beach sand…the “mini” hamburger to curb you appetite! We sure did have a nice time…only wish your trips could have been longer and more frequent.

Though I did not convey in so many words, you know that I was always thankful for your (and aunty’s) trust in me when I wished to marry your “baby girl”, for the confidence you had in me during those ensuing difficult days, and for the compassion
you rendered during my dad’s illness. I know you loved me as much I loved you. Years may come and go but your memory will never be erased.

Though I am thankful to God, for granting you the length of time that
Most do not get, I have two regrets….wish you could have seen Amisha…
I can just picture you asking “yar intha vellai papa”. And, wish I could have
been there to kiss you goodbye…one last time….but…..

As I write this, I thought of what Shakespeare said in Romeo and Juliet (3.2)

[...] and when [he] shall die
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.

As you watch us from heaven, you know that there are 62 stars (and counting!!)
that are shining bright and each one, no doubt, will make you proud.

Love you & miss you….
Chandran

on 07.07.08

My upright Thatha by Sharmila Nambiar

My Thatha was one of the most upright men I have ever come across in my life.There are very few who would come close in comparison.He taught me to have a keen observation about things around me,to have an eye and ear for detail.He taught me to respect time - if I cannot be on time,do not let it spoil the party for others.He was very proud of his belief in God,certainly not afraid to speak about it,at the same time he did not force his religious beliefs on others.This was another thing I learnt from him.Even though he worked in a field where one would rub shoulders with celebrities on a daily basis he was never in awe of them.When I used to go walking with him to the beach,he would introduce me to a whole lot of famous people and all of them used to talk to him on an equal footing.He had the ability to make everyone feel special.If he had written a book on Management,it would be a bestseller.I loved my Thatha and I think he was a great man.

on 28.06.08

Thank you,Appa by Pramilla Swamidass

My Appa,taught me many things.One of the most important lesson was to be interested in current affairs.It was because of him that I used to read the newspapers daily and update myself on the goings on in the world and I also used to answer well when the school inspector came to examine us in St.Anthony's.He taught us hymns and how to pray (we used to giggle at that time).I know he had a special love for me and used call me the quietest one.He came to Munger to spend one month with us and enjoyed the beautiful campus and the natural surroundings of Bihar.He sacrificed a lot for us without cringing so that we could have the best in life.One of my first cotton sarees was bought from Bombay and it was my absolute favourite.Every September was spent in Bangalore in our house in Bangalore and we used to spend all our summers in Madras.You did a lot for me.Thank you and I love you.

on 28.06.08

Remembering Thatha by Minnie

When I think back and try to remember thatha, my earliest memories of thatha is the image of him sitting in the veranda on the cane chair, well groomed and neatly dressed in white, reading the Bible or newspaper or watching all of us play with his occasional “be careful while you play”. Of all the summers and Christmas holidays I spent at “thatha’s place” that’s the first image that pops up in my mind.

I have a more vivid memory of him during my high school and college days.
I remember many occasions when I would sit with thatha in the evenings for a while. We would discuss everything from my day at college to politics or weather and traffic. Some days he would tell me about his childhood or his days in Bangalore, or sometimes about what my mom and the others did as kids.

I will always cherish all those stories and am glad I will be able to pass on those narrations to my kids too. Listening to his recollections of his younger days I realized how much he had achieved with the limited resources he had back then 50-60 years ago. One thing I learned from him is his discipline and punctuality, a lot of which my mom too passed on to me, and it is helping me a lot now. And most of all, the importance that he gave God and Church in his life.

I am so glad I got to know Thatha well in my growing years and I had a “thatha’s place” to go to, though the next time I visit there you wont be there Thatha. But I have the consolation that you lived a good life and now are Christ, having left us a good example of a way of life that we could follow.

on 25.06.08

Big thatha by Suresh

I have known ‘big thatha’ for a decade.

Whenever I visited 28, Mandaveli Street, two things were common.
First one was that I invariably ran into ‘big thatha’. Seated majestic on his chair he would be the first one I found while standing in front of the gate. It was customary that we discuss some topic. I still remember my first visit after getting engaged to Roopa .
It took sometime for me to seek his permission to take her out though he made it look easy in the end.

Secondly, the response to my enquiry on his health was always ‘I am fine by grace of god’ while I would have heard from the other family members that sometimes he was not keeping well. I strongly believe that his response was a good recipe for a successful life - Positive attitude and faith in god. I am glad to have met ‘Big thatha’

on 22.06.08

Thatha - remembered forever by Ammu

Thatha, Mr. Alfred Thangiah was a great man whose personality touched everyone who met him. He was a person with a ready wit who had us laughing, and in my case giggling too! He always said “I am a pure Non – Vegetarian!!” He would deliberately speak wrong English trying to amuse us “When did you came?” He would speak to our Tamil Brahmin friends like one of them and they would be so impressed!

He was also a very loving person .He loved his daughters and son so much , he wanted to be surrounded by them all the time . And he included us in that coterie when we, the grandchildren, came along! He wanted us to spend our summer holidays with him and patti – Mrs. Stella Thangiah . We too came jumping with joy every year because of the special love only grandparents can bestow on the grandchildren. They took us to the beach every evening, and we had sundal, manga and ice-cream!! After patti left us he became more home bound, but nevertheless he did arrange a few outings for us . He once booked tickets for a movie at Pilot theatre and I had a very bad stomach ache and did not want to go. He did not want me to be left behind so he told me to lie on my stomach for a while to soothe the ache and sure enough the stomach ache vanished and I too went to the movie with everyone!


During the summer evenings he would make us sit around him in the verandah {his favourite place in the house!} and ask us to learn Bible verses, Psalms etc. And he would guide us in choosing songs and Bible passages for the VBS Competitions. My sister Sunita remembers how he used to give Poppins to those who learnt the verses first!! And she says he never treated us like “Oh , they’re just kids “ He gave importance to each of us. Whenever he had visitors in the evenings he would not shoo us away, but would call us near and introduce us and include us in the conversations! And being the eldest granddaughter I was always specially introduced!


Thatha laid great importance to education and wanted us all to be well educated. After my Degree I got a job with the Indian Railways, but thatha was adamant I do higher studies and so I went on to do M.A and B.Ed.he wanted me to appear for the IAS exam – I did so just once to please him.


Thatha was a stickler for time and many a Sunday we were left without a ride to church as we were a bit late in coming out of the house!! He was devoted to the church and participated in all Services. We sang for the Tamil Church choir one Christmas and learnt many new Carols which I still have not heard in any other church. He made sure we sang every line perfectly with the correct notes.


He was one of a kind and they don't make any like him any more!!! With his passing on an Era has passed on !! Without him to head his big family of 62 members we will be a little lost. But I'm sure , both he and patti are watching over all of us and will continue to do so from God's Home ! I do hope we remember them both and teach our children about them

on 21.06.08

My dear Appa by Rajkumar Thangiah

My dear Appa it is 2 weeks since you left us all to be with our Lord.We miss you very much especially when I listen to the church music and your voice on my tape.We thank our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for giving us such a loving,caring and dutiful Amma and Appa.We are leading a comfortable and disciplined life today because of your wonderful upbringing and maticulous caring for each one of us.We cherish your loving memories dear Appa.

on 21.06.08